Secret Squirrel's Social Suicide - I Built a Network

Secret Squirrel’s Social Suicide

The Secret Squirrel's Social Suicide, an article by Crawford Miller at
Nov 18 2014

Secret Squirrel’s Social Suicide


Here are some golden prospecting rules I followed to replace our household income.

When I broke any or all of these I still got results, but it felt labored and my heart and soul took a battering. The people that joined the team were, with hindsight, not the people I wanted to work with.

Prospecting outside of these rules felt less like building a great network, and more like selling parts of myself, like: ‘Here, have my integrity. And while you’re at it have my sincerity and my down to earth-ness to go with it’.

You have your own values. Compromise them at your peril.

Think about who you are, understand what is important to you, and as you do that make your own list of things you need to hold dear as you build your own network.

Here are the things that served me:

  • Make a big list and add to it all the time.

A short list gives you bad posture because every time someone says no, you get a step closer to going out of business and you can start to radiate desperate, clingy and / or plain old pushy.

Think of the names on that list as PEOPLE.

Sounds obvious, but you will be amazed at what can happen to the nature of one’s relationships when they are placed on a ‘prospect list’.

It’s possible to become clammy palmed with excitement at the thought of receiving previously incomprehensible sums of money if you ‘get’ these people into your business.

Many MLM leaders have encouraged people to burn through those lists of names on the promise of riches (myself included at the lowest point of my career). Keep thinking clearly and ask yourself ‘What are my motives?’ as you deal with people.

Do not fall into using or manipulating people for money. It is extremely toxic.


  • Call the people on the list and prospect them.

BUT be straight up – stop the secret squirrel, it’s soul destroying and *newsflash*:

people can tell you are doing it!!

You may as well call up and say you’d like to use them to get ahead financially.

Don’t build a network that way because firstly it is bad for your self respect.

You won’t like yourself if you do things that deceive people in order to make money. It is completely unnecessary and plays into false, yet popular, beliefs that say only dishonest or heartless people make money. If you don’t like yourself, other people won’t want to work with you.

Secondly it is bad business. The kind of people who respond to that kind of bait and switch technique often want to win, inherit or marry money – they want luck to render their fortune, not diligent, intelligent effort.

Even if you do clamber over your own lack of self respect, dupe enough people into looking at your company and actually manage to cobble together some kind of network this way, it will crumble.

Trying to build a network with people who subscribe to this wealth strategy is like trying to make a lovely cup of tea in a chocolate teapot.

And obviously it’s social suicide.

Tell people what you’re doing, and tell them why you’re calling them specifically. Be clear (and brief) about what’s in it for them to look at this with you.

  • Focus

Before you call someone, look at your own goals and keep your dream board nearby if you can while you call.

Be clear in your own heart about why YOU are doing this and where YOU are going with this.   With or without the next person you call.

Know there are millions and millions of people out there, plenty of whom will get this, just like you, and your call will be at the right time in their lives for them to hear it.

You don’t need to force the issue with anyone, you don’t need to cling to anyone’s trouser leg.

When you are working this until you get there, you will find your team.

NOTE that does not read: when you are sitting tight with your fingers crossed collecting feeble ‘no’s’ you will find your team.

You need to be earnestly tapping people’s shoulders and seeing if they want to look, with conviction in your heart that this is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Please don’t be one of those people who needs other people to think this is cool before you’ll believe in it yourself.

That’s still using people.

Other people cannot give you self respect and pride in what you do.

Self respect is internal, not external.

If you need someone else’s approval so you can have confidence in what you are offering you will repel everyone apart from those that pity you. Eww.

  • Let people say no.

This is a tricky balance.

Some of my team would hear that, and with a rushing sigh of relief, believe they could just say ‘would you like to look at this thing?’ and then collect another no.

That’s not what ‘let them say no’ means.

Have conviction, communicate clearly with people you respect and care about…but don’t force the issue.

Ask them if you can let them know how you’re going in 3 months, and then follow up: respectfully, informatively, consistently.

  • Do this over and over and over.

Refine your call, practice with your sponsorship line, get with your team and do your calls together so you can push through procrastination.

Be tenacious.

But above all be honest and be respectful. People will be willing to hear from you again.

  • If someone says no, leave this business out of your relationship.

Don’t bring it up over dinner or coffee or in the school bus line.

They said no.

Respect that.

Keep it separate from your relationship and just enjoy the relationship.

Don’t try and show them how great your life is. Don’t try and dazzle them with what they’re missing out on. Just let your relationship be what it is.

Don’t let your business bleed across boundaries – be respectful, don’t be desperate.

Self assured squirrel’s better

Ok I’m stretching the squirrely wordiness a little here, but you get the point.

Embrace learning new communication skills because chances are you need to (otherwise you’d already have the things in your life that you are growing this business for, and you’d be finding this all a piece of cake).

Learn and apply the skills that are going to make you a better version of yourself.

Respect others and yourself as you get this job done – and you’ll keep your heart and soul intact as you grow your network.

Log into the comments section below and let me know if any of these ideas made sense to you.  Do you have any examples of how being honest and being YOURSELF have helped you build a network worth having?

See you on the road,
Helen Jamieson's signature, author of The Networker

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Hi, I'm Helen Jamieson, the author of The Networker - a novel created from experiences on the road to creating over USD $1million with my network marketing business. The book is a fable, a novel, about Sally, a feisty mother of two young children. Sally's feeling exhausted by her job, her lack of money and her negative spouse. Surely successful people didn't have to deal with obstacles like hers? The story follows her into, under and round those obstacles on her quest to take back control of her life using network marketing.

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