Are you really helping?

Helen Jamieson, ibuiltanetwork, ibuiltanetwork.com, The Networker, network marketing success, keeping it real on the mlm highway, does network marketing work?, mompreneur, replacing your income with network marketing
Aug 18 2017

Are you really helping?

One wet and stormy day last winter, before any hope of spring had raised its head, my neighbours jumped on a plane bound for Bali to warm their bones.

They left behind their little flock of 9 sheep.

All but one of which were about to produce lambs.

Any minute.

They asked me to keep an eye on them. “Sure!” I said, “No trouble!”.

When they got home there was a lamb living in my kitchen.

We’d found him newborn and close to death after a day of lashing rain and bitter winds.

I loved that lamb.

My husband loved him.

My children loved him more than they had ever loved anything their whole lives.

(There is a point to this, stay with me…)

Bottle feeding a lamb is a strangely satisfying process. And the novelty doesn’t really have time to wear off because they wean within about 3 or 4 months.

But each weaning stage was like daggers in this little family of mine’s heart.

When expecting a feed that had changed, Buddy would ‘BAH’.

Extremely loudly.

For hours.

And because I work at home, I could hear every single ‘BAH’.

Every time, my heart strings a-flame, I would just cave in and feed him.

Eventually a friend (who hand raises lambs every year) told me sternly:

“You’re just teaching him that when he feels hungry, he bahs and you feed him.

You’re actually not doing him any favours.

He needs to learn that when he feels hungry he eats grass!”

This re-frame was all I needed.

I stopped caving in.

I gave up the flush of pleasure I was getting from being needed and busy.

And Buddy learned to eat grass when he was hungry.

He became independent.

Buddy is like your new team member. 

The one who comes to you every time something goes wrong.

And you fix it.

You’re not actually helping that person!

  • They can call the company to check on a misplaced order.
  • They can find the video that explains the compensation plan for their interested friend.
  • They can do that next presentation.
  • They can get that next person enrolled and start their training!!

Yes, you need to make sure they’re ready. I wasn’t whipping feeds out of Buddy’s schedule ahead of time.

But what I’d dressed up as kindness… was actually me stunting his growth. 

So who are you still bottle feeding long after they could have become independent?

See you on the road,

Helen x

PS If this blog might help someone you know today, please share it with them.  It might be just the re-frame someone needs!

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See you on the road,
Helen Jamieson's signature, author of The Networker
Helen

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Helen

Hi, I'm Helen Jamieson, the author of The Networker - a novel created from experiences on the road to creating over USD $1million with my network marketing business. The book is a fable, a novel, about Sally, a feisty mother of two young children. Sally's feeling exhausted by her job, her lack of money and her negative spouse. Surely successful people didn't have to deal with obstacles like hers? The story follows her into, under and round those obstacles on her quest to take back control of her life using network marketing.

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